Friday, 29 April 2016

'Million Dollar Listing New York' S5E2: A Matter of Integrity

This week's episode of Million Dollar Listing sees tempers flare, and deals lost

It's Season 5 of Million Dollar Listing New York, where three brokers, Fredrik Eklund, Luis Ortiz, and Ryan Serhant, show the world what it takes to sell high-priced New York City apartments. Check in each week for recaps by Angela Bunt. Episode air date: 4/28/2016.

We're only one episode deep on this season of Million Dollar Listing New York, but we're already smack dab in the middle of a juicy argument between Ryan and Luis. The two are working on a co-listing at the Metropolitan Tower on 57th Street, and they're already reverting back to their old, frenemy ways. Their shared client, Soly, has recruited Ryan for a separate listing in Soho, and Luis is upset that Ryan didn't call him to tell him (even though it only happened like, a day ago). He questions Ryan's integrity—several times—and says, "Maybe I'm just expecting to be much more than you could ever be." Ryan's nostrils flare in anger, and he storms out before he can get psychoanalyzed by Luis any further.

Next up is Fredrik, who's headed to Noho, where apparently "all the cool people" want to be. (Sure?) He's meeting with seller/developer Armen to discuss sales on the final two units of his newly refinished building, a building that Freddy has almost sold out completely. Its penthouse and mansion are finally ready to enter the market, and just need are a couple of billionaires to snatch them up. While the penthouse looks marvelous (did you see that vine-filled courtyard?), the nearly-billion-dollar mansion is a complete construction zone. Literally—a construction team has set up an office there. Oh, and it smells. Fredrik tells Armen that he won't be able to show it in its current condition, and Armen says the construction site can't move out until the place is sold. Fredrik will just have to—to borrow a phrase from another reality show—make it work.

A penthouse at the Schumacher

Ryan meets his puffer munkin Emilia for dinner, and says their relationship is better than ever. These days Emilia is working in real estate law, so the two get to hang out all the time! Ryan tells Emilia about his day, specifically his day with Luis, and how affected he was by his comments. So Ryan has feelings now, but what to do with them? Bottle 'em deep, baby. Bottle 'em deep. Meanwhile, Fredrik and Derek, who are still as romantic as ever, head out to the Rainbow Room for their fifth anniversary. Over dinner they discuss their options for children—they're still upset about the loss of their child, but Derek wants to try again. This time around, they'll both use the last of their female embryos and let fate control the rest. Freddy decides that even if he's not the father genetically, he'll always be Mila's dad.

Moving on! It's time for the open house at the Metropolitan Tower penthouse, and Ryan and Luis need to get over their beef and sell the listing. There's good foot traffic and lots of potential buyers—thanks to Ryan (at least that's what Ryan says)—but probably the most exciting attendee is Emilia, who has come to talk to Luis. Uh oh. Through a "I'm going to slit your throat" smile, Emilia tells him she's disappointed that he insulted Ryan's integrity and ambushed him. "I don't want to hear those things again," she says. Awkward encounters aside, buyers are certainly interested in the fancy digs, but they all agree the price is much too high. Most are offering in the $9.5 to $11 million range—pocket change, really. With both Emilia and Soly nipping at Luis's heels, he wonders if he should just let Ryan go.

Back to Fredrik, who meets up with Jordan (yay, Jordan!) at the open house in NoHo. For some crazy reason Jordan hasn't purchased any alcohol, and Fredrik wonders how people will write checks for millions of dollars while drinking sparkling water. Good point. Brokers flood in and Fredrik shows them around the beautiful penthouse, conveniently saving the construction zone mansion for last. Unfortunately, no amount of verbal diarrhea can impress billionaire buyers to make an offer on an unfinished property.

Unfortunately, no amount of verbal diarrhea can impress billionaire buyers to make an offer on an unfinished property.

Luis calls an impromptu meeting with Ryan to discuss their current relationship. They bark at each other for the first few minutes, but Luis softens (probably after thinking about Emilia coming to kill him) and he and Ryan actually have a heart to heart. Ryan apologizes for not telling him about the side deal with Soly, and Luis apologizes for verbally assaulting Ryan (sort of), and it seems like they've worked everything out. In an effort to get more eyes on the overpriced pad, Luis and Ryan appear on CNBC's Secret Lives of the Super Rich to promote it. (But if it's a secret, how will anybody see it?) Eager to build up his IMDB credits, Ryan starts hogging the spotlight and of course Luis gets upset, because being on a Bravo reality show apparently isn't enough exposure for him.

Back to Fredrik and Jordan, who are sitting around the office discussing what the word "twink" means. They get a call that there's an offer for the penthouse, and while it's not the mansion, it's a start. Freddy knows the best negotiations happen in person, so he meets with Armen to discuss. The offer comes in a $9 million—at first Armen scoffs, until he hears it's an all-cash buyer. Armen relents and Fredrick does a happy dance in the middle of Times Square. A few weeks later, Fredrik now has a buyer from Singapore coming to view the mansion. The space was allegedly cleaned up by Armen and his crew, but upon arrival Fredrick finds it as messy as ever. Having lived in Singapore for eight months, he knows it's one of the cleanest places in the world, and there's no way he can show the dirty penthouse to his potential buyer. He's forced to cancel the showing and start from scratch. Womp womp.

Ryan is on the phone with Soly, who's been stalking him and Luis about the co-listing for weeks. He threatens to pull the property off the market in 30 days if there's no action, but with such an overpriced space it seems nearly impossible to make a sale. The three meet for dinner several days later and Luis and Ryan present him with an $11 million offer. Soly is unimpressed, but Ryan and Luis convince him to counter and he comes back at $15 million. When the client counters at just $12 millon, he finally loses his cool: "Something is bothering me. I don't think you guys understand the real value of this apartment." Soly tells them he has other partners in the deal and has to go with different brokers. "We're just sitting, holding our dicks in our hands waiting for the brokers to come up with the right number," he says so eloquently. It's over. Ryan and Luis try to convince him otherwise, but his mind is made up. Oh, and that Soho deal he had with Ryan? That's over, too. Ryan tells him he's making a mistake, and Soly says only time will tell.

Man, I can't wait for him to come crawling back later this season. Luis and Ryan part ways angry at each other, but something tells me this isn't the last time we'll see them working together. Stay tuned for next week!


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